The dummy force and the world's dumbest criminals
by S.Ganon
Summary: The dummy force/baka rangers get bored and decide to watch TV. What happens when they realize that not only that people much dumber than them exist, but that there's a lot of them?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, everyone. This is a oneshot fic idea that I came up with and thought would be pretty funny. What happens when the baka rangers/dummy force realize that not only do people dumber than them exist, but that there are a whole bunch of them? I should note that I am not making any of the following dumb crooks up, as I got all of them from a couple of shows, mostly ****World's Dumbest **** and ****Most Daring****. You can't make up this level of stupidity. I chose the clips that I thought were the best, but the top five are my favorites. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything here. This is just for fun.**

**Note: **_Italics = TV_

Regular print = girls

"Okay, girls!" Asuna said the night after the dummy force's escape from library island and over an hour of studying in her room. "How about we take a little break from studying and watch some TV for awhile?"

"Oh yeah!"Makie beamed as she jumped in front of the TV.

"I guess that is something we can do." Kaede said as she sat in front of the TV, followed by Ku Fei.

"Well, I guess anything beats studying." Yue responded as she sat next to Asuna. "What are we going to watch?"

"I have no idea." Asuna began as she picked up the remote and started flipping through a list of shows. "I think Negi keeps a list of his favorite shows on his DVR, so I'll just flip through them until I find something that looks interesting. Say, this World's Dumbest show sounds interesting." Asuna said as she turned the show on.

_"Tonight, The Smoking Gun presents "World's dumbest criminals!" _

"Say, that sounds interesting." Makie responded.

"I guess, though I doubt there's anyone dumber than us." Asuna answered. "There really can't, can there?"

_"At number twenty on our countdown, we look at two british men in a parking lot looking for a car to steal."_

"Oh, come on!" Makie shouted after seeing the two crooks on the screen going from car to car after failing to steal the previous one. "Steal something, already!"

"I know!" Asuna responded. "Did they think that security wouldn't keep an eye on them if they went in and out of every car in the parking lot?"

"Hey, I think they finally got one." Kaede said as the two crooks on the screen finally got into a car successfully.

"Yeah, but look behind them." Yue responded. Sure enough, as soon as the two really bad car thieves succeeded in stealing one, a cop drove right up behind them.

_"After barely getting out of the parking lot, the thieves are arrested and charged with auto theft."_

"Ugh…those guys stupid." Ku Fei began. "They really bad thieves."

"I think this is just the beginning, girls. There are still nineteen clips to go." Asuna said.

_"At number nineteen on our countdown, we have a man who breaks into a police bait car to steal the GPS. He might have gotten away with it if it wasn't for a few small details…"_

"Hey, dummy, when you rob a place, cover your face!" Makie shouted at the TV.

"If you think that's dumb, look at the man's neck." Yue responded.

"Does he seriously have his name and date of birth on his neck?" Kaede asked.

"I not smart," Ku Fei began. "But I know better than to leave name in plain sight like that."

"Wow! What an idiot!" Asuna shouted. "If you're robbing something with a camera, or anything period, why would you have your name and face where they are visible? This guy deserves to get arrested!"

_"You might wonder why there aren't many urban base jumpers. Not only is it dangerous, it is also illegal. However, that didn't seem to stop these two at number eighteen."_

"Wow!" Look at this one!" Makie beamed. "One guy base jumps…right into the hands of the cops?"

_"As the first jumper landed, he was greeted by a police officer who promptly arrested him."_

"Wow. Let's hope the other guy is smarter than his buddy." Makie said.

"I wouldn't count on it, Makie." Yue began. "Oh, look. The other guy decided to jump as well instead of trying to get away from the cop who just arrested his buddy."

"How can anybody be that dumb?" Asuna asked. "Even I know that if one of my friends decided to do something stupid and gets arrested with a cop in our sight, I'd sure as hell get away!"

"Same here, Asuna." Kaede began. "I may not be the brightest person out there, but if I saw a cop, I'd get away from him as quickly as possible."

"That guy total moron. Jumped right into hand of police after seeing him there." Ku Fei commented.

_"At number seventeen, we have two crooks who broke into a suburban home. What are they after? The fancy electronic equipment, the jewels, or money? If you answered with any of these, you are wrong. Their targets are the puppies."_

"The puppies?" Asuna asked as she saw the two idiots on the screen run around the house and putting all of the puppies in a bag. "Why the hell would they want to steal puppies? Dumbasses!"

"Yeah! Puppies are loud! Do they think they would get away?" Kaede asked. "If I was robbing a house, I would go out of my way to avoid stealing the loudest thing possible!"

"Same here." Ku Fei responded to her friend's comment. "Those two choose worst thing to steal."

"I know." Makie began. "Why would you steal anything that's living, let alone something as loud as a bunch of puppies?"

"Because they're idiots. I mean, seriously! Most of the stuff in that room is more valuable than a bunch of puppies!" Yue responded. "I don't think it took long for the cops to arrest them. Barking puppies is sure to attract the attention of the police."

_"At number sixteen on our countdown, we have two police officers who succeed in pulling over and arresting a man who just robbed a bank. He might have gotten away if it wasn't for what he did right before robbing the bank."_

As the TV flashed an image of a man standing in a bank line with the ski mask on, all of the girls except for Yue burst out laughing.

"Did that guy actually stand in line to rob a bank?" Asuna asked, shocked by the stupidity of the crime.

"I think so." Kaede responded. "But why bother?"

"Yeah! That man too polite." Ku Fei responded while still laughing.

"Oh, come on! Just rob the place already!" Makie shouted.

"I know." Yue began. "They know you're going to rob the place, so just get it over with! I think this is the dumbest one we've seen so far."

"I agree, but we still have fifteen more to go." Asuna said.

_"At number fifteen on our countdown, we have a group of criminals attempting to steal a convenience store ATM _(A.N. They show a LOT of these. I can count the number of people who succeeded on one hand)_."_

"Seriously? Stealing an ATM?" Yue asked. "Did they honestly think that if they tie a rope to their truck and driving off with the ATM would actually work?"

"Come on!" Kaede began. "Even I know better than to steal an ATM! Those things are heavy!"

"They are. Impossible to steal ATM." Ku Fei responded.

"I think that's just the beginning." Makie began as she pointed to the screen.

_"After a failed attempt at stealing the ATM the thieves escape, leaving their car behind. When the cops investigate the following morning, it doesn't take long to identify and arrest the would-be thieves."_

Asuna just stood there with a shocked expression on her face. "Morons! Don't leave behind a car with your license plate on it! That makes it all the easier for the police to find you!"

"Not to mention fingerprints, registration, possibly a few ID's-" Yue began when Asuna cut her off.

"Yeah yeah, Yue. We get the picture." Asuna said as the next clip flashed on the screen.

_"At number fourteen on our list, we have a man who walks into a convenience store and robs it. He gets away, but ten days later, a familiar customer walks into the same store and demands cash."_

"What?" Asuna shouted. "Is that seriously the same guy?"

"I think it is, Asuna." Makie responded.

"And look. The only thing that is different is that he changed his hat." Yue said in her normal tone.

"On top of that, it's the same clerk from his previous robbery and he recognized him! How dumb can you get?" Kaede asked.

"Pretty stupid." Ku Fei began. "Robber should have used money to get new shirt instead of new hat."

"How about not robbing the same store twice in a week? Ever thought of that?" Yue asked.

"Yeah, that too." Asuna began. Let's just watch the next clip."

"_Our next clip takes us to a convenience store in Russia _(A.N. They show a lot of clips from Russia)_ where a man walks in only to see that the clerk and the security guard are asleep. Is this a customer? No. It's just dumb criminal thirteen. He wakes the clerk up and demands cash."_

"Are you serious?" Asuna asked as they were watching the clip. "Just take the cash register, you moron!"

"Yeah! Don't wake up the clerk and security guard!" Makie responded.

"I don't know about the rest of you," Kaede began. "But if I saw the cash register and all of the people in the store were asleep I'd take it and run!"

"Same here. That guy not know opportunity when he sees it." Ku Fei said is response.

"This guy is a total moron. He wakes up the store clerk and he only gets away with about 300 yen!" Yue responded in her monotonic voice.

"If he didn't wake everyone up, he would have gotten away with it." Asuna concluded as the next clip flashed on the screen.

_"Usually, very smart criminals put some critical thinking into choosing a place to rob. Critically dumb criminals break into a security camera store, like the idiot and number twelve."_

"What a moron." Kaede said as she saw the crook walking around the store with a clear shot at his face. "Why rob a store that sells security equipment, especially in the middle of the night?"

"Because that guy is an idiot." Makie began. "He just wanders past all of the cameras and we keep getting a clear view of his face."

"Did he not think that a surveillance store might, I don't know, have a few security cameras?" Asuna asked.

"Apparently. Kazumi owns a lot of cameras, but not as many as the ones who own this store! Given the number of views of his face, I'm guessing it didn't take long to arrest that idiot." Yue said. "It's not like he can deny committing the crime when they have his face on all of those cameras."

_"Our next clip takes us to a news van. After locking up his car and leaving, a young man breaks into the car and attempts to steal the camera."_

"What the hell?" Asuna asked. "He's trying to steal a camera from a news van?"

"I don't think that's the dumb part. It looks like he accidently turned on the camera." Kaede said.

"Come on! How do you not notice the little red light?" Makie asked.

"You don't if you are idiot." Ku Fei said in response.

"This guy's a moron! Here he is, trying to steal this camera when it is recording his every move." Asuna responded as she tried to refrain from laughing.

"Look at that idiot trying to escape." Yue began. "They have his face on the camera. It shouldn't take long for the cops to find and arrest him."

_"Our next clip takes us to a pizza shop where an armed robber breaks in and demands cash, but the employees are not about to comply._

"Look at that idiot!" Asuna began as she and the other girls started laughing. "He tries to rob a restaurant, which is the last place I'd try and rob! Let alone a pizza shop!"

"And look at the guys in the shop taking their knives and beating them up!" Makie said before giving up to the laughter.

"That guy need to research place he wants to rob." Ku Fei said while laughing.

"He definitely chose the wrong place to rob." Kaede began. "If I was in there, I would definitely kick his ass just for being stupid."

"Wouldn't you include yourself in that, Kaede?" Yue asked.

"That's academic stupidity, Yue. This guy is just flat out dumb." Kaede responded to the blue-haired girl's response.

"I have to agree. That moron brought a gun to a pizza shop and he was beat up by a bunch of pizza makers with knives." Yue began. "I'll bet he rejoiced when the police showed up to arrest him."

_"Our next clip takes us to a man who is being chased down by the police on the highway. When they surround him, he escapes from his car and attempts to flee on foot."_

"Hey, Moron, if you couldn't get away from them in a car there is no way you'll get away from them on foot!" Makie shouted.

"And he runs into a corn field! This guy has dumb written all over him!" Asuna shouted.

"I can't even escape from cops on foot." Ku Fei began.

"I don't think anyone can, even people as physically fit as us." Kaede began. "There's no way that guy can get far."

"Take a look at the angle we're seeing the chase from." Yue began. "There's a helicopter right above the corn field."

"How do you not notice a helicopter?" Asuna asked. "I mean, seriously! You can't miss them."

"I'm guessing he forgot the meaning of the term aerial pursuit." Kaede said. "And look. As soon as he gets out of the cornfield, the cops are right there, waiting for him."

"Did you ever doubt them, Kaede?" Yue asked.

"Nope. I knew it wouldn't take long for the police to catch this idiot." Kaede concluded as the next clip flashed on the screen.

_"Number eight on our countdown takes us to a casino in Las Vegas. A man runs out of chips, so he decides to bet something else of value: a bag of marijuana."_

"What?" Asuna asked as she looked at the bag the dumb criminal placed on the table. "A bag of marijuana?"

"Looks like it." Ku Fei began. "I know drug when I see it."

"And he actually tries to bet with them?" Makie asked. "Why would you gamble with something like that?"

"According to Negi, certain illegal drugs are pretty valuable in Europe and America." Asuna explained.

"I know they are worth a lot of money, but this is ridiculous!" Kaede shouted.

"Apparently, that idiot doesn't know that there are security cameras all over the place in casinos." Yue began as the other girls just looked at her. "I read it somewhere awhile ago, but never mind that. Look at what happens when the cops arrest him!"

"He tries presenting a cannabis card to the cops, and it turns out it was printed online." Asuna giggled. "I don't think that counts."

_"At number seven on our countdown, we have a man who tries to rob a bum who is sleeping on a bench."_

"Robbing a bum? Is this guy that desperate for money?" Makie asked.

"Apparently. How much could this guy make off of a bum, anyway?" Kaede asked.

"Um…one hundred yen?" Ku Fei asked.

"He'd be lucky to get that!" Asuna said as she just stared at the desperate thief. "Aw, look. He only got fifty yen."

"As if robbing a bum isn't dumb enough, this guy has to rob him with a cop watching from across the street?" Kaede asked. "Wouldn't you, I don't know, check the area for cops before committing such a brainless robbery?"

"You'd think so, wouldn't you?" Yue asked. "This idiot actually walked past the cop! I think that cop did the only smart thing in this clip by arresting that moron."

"Let's just get through the remaining clips." Asuna began. "I'll bet they're going to be good!"

_"At number six on our countdown, we focus our attention on two kids who try to find a place to rob. The only problem is that the place they chose to rob is a police station."_

"A police station?" Kaede asked as she stared at the screen. "Those kids actually tried to rob a police station?"

"Isn't police station last place you want to rob?" Ku Fei asked.

"Yeah, with all of the cops all over the place!" Makie responded.

"These kids fit the definition of pure stupid!" Asuna began. "I mean, robbing the one place that is sure to be swarming with cops? How do you not notice?"

"Because people are stupid, that's why." Yue said. "At least those kids won't have to worry about a long trip to jail."

_"At number five on our count down, we have two men who break into a Subway shop. They deactivate the security system and go on to emptying the cash register. There's only one problem with this. They are using their own personal security codes, and they were fired from the establishment earlier in the day."_

"They deactivate the security system with their own security codes? Talk about dumb!" Asuna shouted as she burst out laughing.

"And idiots use own codes!" Ku Fei giggled.

"And they were just fired from that store earlier in the day!" Kaede shouted. "Now that's dumb."

"If you use your own security codes to break into a store, aren't they going to know it's you?" Makie asked.

"Yeah. I'm guessing that's how they got these boneheads." Yue answered.

"And they come in to collect their last paycheck with the cops waiting to arrest them. Did they really think they got away with the robbery?" Asuna shouted.

"Sadly, I think they did." Yue began. "And on top of that, the store owner is a bail bondsman! Those bakas are toast."

"I wonder who will top these bozos?" Asuna asked.

"_A man who plays the base for a band locks his bases in a van outside his apartment after a gig at a nearby club. When he checks on them in the morning, he discovers that they have been stolen. Acting on a hunch, the man decides to pay a visit to a local pawn shop. When he is talking to the owner, in walks dumb criminal number four."_

"What are the odds of this?" Asuna asked as she burst out laughing. "The thief walks into the shop while the owner is in it? Talk about bad luck!"

"No. Bad luck would be if that man pawned the bases in another state, or even here in Japan and ran into the owner." Yue began. "This is just flat out stupid."

"And look at how calm the owner is." Makie began. "He is just telling the owner to call the cops and make sure the thief didn't leave the store!"

"I not that calm. I would beat that guy up!" Ku Fei responded, shocked by the owner's calm nature.

"Same here, Ku Fei." Kaede began. "If it was me, I'd probably kill that guy! Either that or I'd beat him within an inch of his life."

"And when the cops arrive and ask the thief for his ID, he gives him a whole bunch of them!" Yue said as she burst out laughing since she couldn't hold it in anymore.

"And those ID's includes the base owner's business card? That wasn't very smart." Kaede laughed.

"This guy is a total dumbass!" Asuna shouted. "When the cops ask you for ID, I think they want yours. Not all the ones you stole!"

"And the cops arrest him on the spot." Makie laughed. "Of all of the clips we've seen so far, this one takes the cake!"

"_At number three on our list, we have a man who commits various crimes like speeding, arson, and vandalism. He decides to record himself while committing these crimes. As if that wasn't dumb enough, the crook posts the video on YouTube."_

"Oh, come on!" Asuna shouted. "This guy fails at so many levels! What an idiot!"

"Posting your crimes on YouTube? What was this guy thinking?" Makie shouted.

"He wasn't thinking." Yue began. "You'd think these bakas would know better than to videotape themselves doing something illegal, let alone upload it for the whole world to see!"

"What YouTube?" Ku Fei asked.

"YouTube is a website that people from all over the world can post videos at." Asuna explained. "And the whole world can watch them."

"Then that guy total moron." Ku Fei began. "Police might watch such a site."

"I'm sure they do. That's why this man is a complete idiot." Kaede responded.

"I'm sure the cops really got a kick out of this!" Asuna began. "I mean, how dumb can you get?"

"I guess we'll watch the remaining two clips and see for ourselves." Yue said as yet another clip flashed on the screen.

"_A man calls 911 when he notices two suspicious characters near his home. As it turns out, the man was a drug dealer and the two men were rival dealers who happened to be on his turf."_

"Calling 911 to arrest rival drug dealers? Come on!" Makie shouted. "The police have better things to do!"

"You'd think so, wouldn't you?" Yue asked. "But I don't think that's this idiot's only mistake."

"_While he is still on the phone with 911, the man starts conducting a drug deal."_

"What the hell?" Asuna said with a confused tone. "He started conducting a drug deal?"

"That guy stupid. Committing illegal act while talking with authorities not smart." Ku Fei said as she was laughing at the really dumb drug dealer.

"Yeah!" Makie began. "I don't think a drug deal is something you want to do while you talking with the cops!"

"I know! This has got to be the dumbest drug dealer in the world!" Kaede shouted.

"I know! This guy is a complete moron!" Asuna shouted. "And I think Negi told me once that the 911 operators can track your location!"

"The best part is that the 911 operator calls the cops to arrest this guy!" Yue shouted. "Don't start doing something illegal when you're talking to a person who has a direct line to the police! After seeing this, I'm almost afraid to see who's at number one!"

_Early one morning at a car repair shop, two men storm in and demand cash. There is just one problem. There was no money in the establishment since it just opened for the day. The employees told the thieves to come back later. They agree and leave the shop, but not before one of them left their phone numbers behind, telling the employees to call him once their boss came in. The clerks call the cops, and then the idiot at number one."_

All five girls just stood there, dumbstruck.

"What-" Makie began.

"The-" Kaede continued.

"Hell?" Asuna finished. "I think seeing this clip just lowered my IQ level!"

"Did he really think that the clerks would let him take their money?" Makie asked. "This is easily the dumbest crook we've seen on this show!"

"I hear you, Makie." Kaede began. "This guy is a complete idiot!"

"_The would-be thief returns and is confronted by a plain-clothes officer. When the crook refuses to drop his gun, the officer shoots him in the leg. He is taken to the hospital and then to jail."_

"That guy complete dumbass! Thinks he could take money with no cops waiting for him." Ku Fei said as she laughed at who was probably the dumbest criminal in the world.

"He seriously thought they wouldn't call the cops? No, they just thought you really needed the money!" Yue said in a sarcastic tone.

"This guy deserved both the number one spot on this show and getting shot in the leg! What a dumbass!" Asuna shouted. "I didn't think people that dumb even existed!"

"At least we learned that people much dumber than us exist." Makie began. "We're geniuses compared to these boneheads!"

"We definitely are." Kaede said as the door to the dorm room opened and in walked Negi and Konnaka.

"Hello, girls." Negi began as he noticed the TV was on. "We heard you laughing and shouting all the way across the hall. What were you watching?"

"Oh, just this really funny show." Asuna answered.

"Yeah. I think it was called World's Dumbest." Kaede explained.

"Say, isn't that the show you like watching, Negi?" Konnaka asked the child professor.

"Why yes, Konnaka." Negi began as he looked at the other girls. "In fact, I left my remote out so you girls would find that show and see that you aren't as dumb as you think you are."

"I'll say. We just saw the dumbest criminals we've ever seen!" Asuna shouted.

"Yes. Some of those criminals are pretty stupid." Negi chuckled. "I'll tell you what, girls. Study hard and do well on the finals tomorrow, and I'll show you some of their other shows. Think of it as a chance to improve your English."

"Alright, Negi!" Makie beamed.

"Come on, girls." Asuna began as she opened a bunch of books. "Let's study as much as we can! After all, if people that stupid exist, we can definitely do this!"

"Yeah!" The other girls shouted as they joined her.

**Well, that's what happens when the dummy force/baka rangers discover that they are far from being as dumb as some people can get. This is currently a oneshot, but if I feel like it and/or I get enough requests, I might add a few more chapters for some of the other categories.**


	2. dumb daredevils 1

**Okay, I'm back with more idiots for the dummy force/baka rangers to make fun of. Since it seemed a lot of people liked the last chapter with the criminals, I decided to continue with some of the categories. This chapter focuses on some of the dumbest daredevils I've ever seen. The next chapter will focus on drivers. For those of you who liked the criminals, don't worry. I'll include more in a later chapter and there will be a couple in the dumb drivers. As I stated in the last chapter, all of the morons I'm about to show are real, and it will be the same for all future chapters. I couldn't make up this level of stupidity if I tried, and I don't think anyone else could, either, save the people who come up with such idiotic ideas. Some of the details might be a little off, but I think you'll get the gist of it. Enjoy.**

Regular=girls

_Italics=TV_

On the night after the final exam scores were announced, Negi decided to gather the entire dummy force and brought them to his dorm room so they could see more clips of really stupid people.

"Alright then, girls." Negi began. "Since you five did much better on the finals than I imagined, I decided to offer you a special treat."

"What's the special treat, professor?" Makie asked.

"Do you remember that show you watched the other night?" Makie asked.

"Oh yeah!" all five girls shouted.

"Who could forget that?" Yue asked. "Those criminals where some of the dumbest people I've ever seen!"

"Are you letting us watch another one?" Kaede asked.

"Nope." Negi began. "I'm letting you watch an episode from another category of your choice." With that, he flipped through his list of recorded shows. "You can choose between dumb daredevils and dumb drivers."

"Daredevils, most definitely daredevils!" Asuna shouted. "That's something new."

"Good. With that, I'll leave you be." As Negi walked towards the door, he paused for a moment. "I'll be across the hall if you need anything. And tell the two girls right outside the door that they shouldn't try hiding there." As he opened the door, sure enough, the twins Fuka and Fumika fell into the room.

"Aw man!" Fuka whined. "He found us!"

"I'm not surprised. What do you two want?" Kaede asked.

"Well," Fumika began, "We wanted to watch that show you were watching a couple of nights ago. The one you were laughing your heads off at. We were outside the door that entire night listening to everything."

"Oh. That's the one we're about to watch." Asuna began as she turned the TV on. "You two can join us if you want."

"Okay!" the twins exclaimed as they jumped to either side of her.

"I'm glad that's settled. I hope you enjoy the episodes I left for you." Negi smiled as he walked out of the room. The others got into place as Asuna turned one of the episodes on.

_"Tonight, the Smoking Gun presents World's Dumbest Daredevils!"_

"This is going to be good!" Makie smiled.

"I"ll bet." Yue began. "I hear daredevils can be pretty dumb."

"_Our first clip takes us to a man who is participating in a drag boat race on a lake. His boat can go from 0 to 260 mph in a matter of seconds, and he plans to use all of it."_

"Wow! Look at that guy! He just crashed and disappeared!" Asuna shouted.

"This guy stupid!" Ku Fei began. "Why race on water?"

"Because he's bored?" Kaede asked. "But I don't think he should go that fast."

"Agreed, Kaede." Yue began. "As if racing on water isn't dumb enough, using a boat that can go that fast is begging for trouble!"

"Yeah!" Makie beamed. "How can anything good come from going over 200 mph on water?"

"Nothing. Just a crash like that." Fumika commented.

"Going over 200 mph on anything isn't a good idea!" Fuka began. "Well, it is for us since we get to make fun of them!"

"I agree." Asuna began. "At least he was smart enough to escape to a waterproof capsule. Other than that, this guy needs to get a life!"

"_Our next clip takes us to Germany where two men are spinning around on a merry-go-round in an attempt to see how long they can stay on."_

"What are they trying to prove?" Asuna shouted. "This stunt has stupid written all over it!"

"Umm…they are trying to see how long it will take to kill themselves?" Ku Fei asked.

"If this is what they do in Germany, remind me to never go there for any reason!" Kaede said.

"Agreed." Makie began. "I may be a little dumb, but I'm not insane with a death wish!"

"Come on! Why would you abuse a playground toy like that?" Fumika asked.

"Well, it does look like the teacup rides we see at amusement parks." Fuka answered.

"Yes, but with a much greater chance of death." Yue responded as one of the daredevils flew out of the merry-go-round and landed in the grass a few yards away. "Oh, great! He survived with only minor injuries."

"Just what the world needs. Proof that this works!" Asuna shouted. "These guys are idiots!"

"_Due to the results of the stunt, several copycats soon sprang up with similar results."_

"See? What did I tell you?" Asuna asked.

"If the original stunt didn't work, what made the other guys think it would work?" Makie shouted. "These people really need to get a brain!"

"_At number eighteen on our countdown, we have an amateur_ _stuntman who places a ladder in the middle of the road. When a car drives by, the man jumps off the ladder."_

"What is this guy's problem?" Asuna asked.

"I know!" Makie began. "Does he want to die?"

"Maybe the guy's bored?" Fumika asked.

"Maybe." Fuka answered.

"Either that or this guy is just stupid!" Kaede shouted.

"Agreed. Nothing is gained by stupid stunt like that!" Ku Fei responded.

"And this guy is supposed to be an amateur stuntman?" Yue asked. "Try professional dumbass! Hard to believe this idiot comes from the same country as Professor Negi!"

"_Our next clip takes us to Ireland as we watch a group of daredevils all lined up for the annual cheese race."_

"Cheese race?" Asuna asked. "I'm almost afraid to look!"

"Look at those guys!" Makie shouted as she started laughing. "All of those guys are chasing after that small wheel of cheese!"

"These guys are stupid!" Fumika began. "Why bother with such a small wheel of cheese? It's going to be all dirty by the time they reach the bottom of that hill!"

"I don't know, sis." Fuka responded. "I'm just enjoying watching those morons fall down the hill! And when they make it to the end, there's a line of paramedics waiting for them?"

"If the finish line is a line of paramedics, count me out!" Yue shouted. "These daredevils keep getting dumber and dumber!"

"I agree." Kaede began. "I think my IQ is getting lower and lower from watching these morons!"

"I like food, but not this much! People from Europe stupid!" Ku Fei shouted.

"I think I know why Professor Negi is here is Japan." Asuna said in a not so serious voice.

"Why, Asuna?" Makie asked.

"To get away from all of these European idiots!" Asuna laughed. "Let's just get on to the next clip!"

"_Our next clip takes us to a stuntman whose premier stunt in his show is jumping over and knocking over four buses. There are only a few problems."_

"How about trying to knock over four buses in an old car?" Asuna shouted. "This guy is just begging for trouble!"

"And look!" the twins beamed. "He didn't make it past the second bus!"

"What an idiot!" Ku Kei shouted. "Hard to tell what worse. That this guy is this stupid, or the fact that he's attempting this stunt in stadium."

"I'd say it's both." Kaede responded.

"This guy is dumb for placing the shorter bus behind the taller bus." Yue began. "If only this guy put the basic laws of physics into account. Not to mention one of the buses has a rusted roof."

"What was this guy thinking?" Makie shouted. "Even I was able to tell what was wrong with this picture in one second!"

"_Our next clip takes us to two young men who are bored in the winter time. Their plan? For both of them to ride a shopping cart off the stairs that lead to their apartment. First, they test it without anyone in the cart to see if it works. Since it succeeds, both men get in the cart and ride it down. Their ride wasn't as smooth."_

"Those guys dumb!" Ku Fei shouted as the two boneheads crashed and landed in the plants next to the stairs.

"Ow! That's got to hurt!" Kaede began. "I know landing in plants with branches and thorns can hurt!"

"That's what they get for being dumbasses! Come on! Of course it would work with nobody in it! But add two full grown morons, and most people could tell it will never work!" Asuna shouted.

"Agreed." Makie responded. "Those guys have got to be some of the dumbest people in the world!"

"Those guys have to be very dumb if they can't see what went wrong!" Fumika exclaimed.

"Yeah. Their brains must be very small." Fuka responded.

"That's providing they even have a brain to begin with." Yue responded. "I think it is safe to say that these guys are morons!"

"_In our next clip, a bunch of men get drunk and decide to perform some stunts. Their plan? To ride a bike off a ramp and into a lake. The first two succeed. The third guy, on the other hand did not."_

"Look at that guy, sis!" Fumika said while snickering at the moron on the screen.

"I am. He had that wide area and he plowed right into the ramp!" Fuka responded.

"Alcohol and morons. Two entities that should never mix. Remind me to never get drunk!" Yue said.

"That guy is stupid!" Asuna shouted. "I mean, really! He hit the only thing on the lake that wasn't lake!"

"What do they do now?" Ku Fei asked.

"I'm hoping for something that actually involves brains, but that's too much to hope for." Kaede finished.

"_Our next clip involves a skateboarder who is skating around a parking lot with a ramp next to a fire hydrant. He had a few successful jumps, and then-"_

"Ouch!" Ku Fei said as the guy in the clip hit the fire hydrant. "That gotta hurt!"

"I'll say." Kaede said as she looked at the idiot as he crashed. "Like he couldn't see that one coming!"

"I know!" Asuna shouted. "Why skateboard by a fire hydrant?"

""Because he's a moron!" Fuka shouted.

"Yeah. Nothing good comes from performing stupid stunts in a parking lot." Fumika responded.

"Was this guy really that bored?" Makie asked. "Come on! I'm sure most intelligent people would think of something better to do!"

"That's the key word, Makie." Yue began. "Intelligent people would. This guy, on the other hand is a complete moron!"

"_It is the middle of a hurricane, and everyone is safely inside waiting for the storm to pass. Well, everyone except these two at number twelve."_

"What the hell?" Asuna shouted. "Are these guys seriously kite boarding during a hurricane?"

"It looks like it." Yue sighed. "I mean, what's the point? What does it prove?"

"That world is full of morons?" Ku Fei asked.

"I'll say." Kaede began. "If you are in the middle of a hurricane, wouldn't you want to avoid going out during it?"

"Most people would, but not these two! And look at them crashing and falling into the water!" Makie beamed.

"That looks like fun!" Fuka began. "If I was in stupid world, that is!"

"I agree." Fumika responded. "But I think these guys are way past that. Either that, or they're long-term residents."

"_In Spain, bull fighting has been a tradition for hundreds of years. Hundreds of years full of dumb daredevils thinking they have something to prove."_

"Ha ha ha!" Fuka laughed as she saw a bull charging and mauling a bullfighter.

"Go, bull!" Fumika shouted.

"If you get within ten feet of one of those animals, you are an idiot!" Kaede shouted.

"Agreed. Bulls violent animals." Ku Fei responded.

"If you get anywhere near one of those beasts, you deserve to get mauled by one!" Asuna shouted. "How has this tradition survived the centuries?"

"Because people are stupid." Yue began. "I'm with the rest of you. I'm rooting for the bull."

_"Along the same line as the bull fighters are the people who run with the bulls on the way to the arena. Well, just see it for yourself."_

"What?" Kaede shouted. "And I thought the bull fighters were stupid! These guys are actually RUNNING with the bulls!"

"A lot in small space to boot." Ku Fei responded.

"Yeah! Maul those guys!" Fuka shouted.

"Um…Fuka, aren't we supposed to be rooting for the people?" Fumika asked.

"Well, the bulls are winning." Fuka answered.

"I guess." Fumika responded. "So…go bulls! Maul those bakas to pieces!"

"Why would you run with so many bulls in an enclosed area?" Makie asked. "Isn't that begging for trouble?"

"It is, but these guys seem to like trouble. Ow! Look at that one guy getting mauled by the bull against the fence!" Asuna shouted.

"It's official. Anyone who is in the same street as a bull is a moron!" Yue shouted. "Or if you see one within your eyesight and just sit there!"

_"At number nine on our countdown, we have a bunch of men who decide to do some sort of road skiing in a parking lot. The daredevil on the skis is trying to jump over a ramp at the edge of the parking lot. Well, things didn't go according to plan."_

"OW!" Makie gasped as she tried to look away as the guy performing the stunt crashed head-first into the cement curb. "He crashed right into the cement!"

"That's gotta hurt." Kaede said. "Crashing head-first into cement is not something I can even imagine."

"That guy going to feel that for awhile!" Ku Fei said.

""I'm sure it is, but this guy had it coming. Trying to jump a ramp in a parking lot? Come on!" Asuna shouted.

"That guy just wants to get a concussion?" Makie asked. "Okay. I can do the same thing. Let me tie my ribbon around you, and I'll pound you into the street!"

"Yeah. In any contest between a cement curb and a moron, who do you go for?" Fuka asked.

"You go for the cement! It wins almost every time." Fumika beamed.

"I swear, just watching these guys makes my IQ drop! None of these stunts would ever pass through my mind!" Yue said. "And we're supposed to be the dummy force? We're geniuses compared to these guys!"

"And just think." Asuna began. We still have eight more to go."

_"A daredevil decide to head for a lake and ski across the water. There's only one problem. Their vehicles are snowmobiles." _(A/N I've lost count of the number of clips I've seen of people doing this. It's pathetic!)

"That's a snowmobile, not a jet ski?" Kaede asked. "Just checking."

"I don't think it's a jet ski, Kaede." Ku Fei began. "This guy total baka!"

"What the hell?" Asuna asked. "I don't think that is what they were designed for."

"Nope." Fuka began. "Snowmobiles were not made for water."

"Don't worry, sis. That idiot will probably crash before long." Fumika responded.

"Yes. I'm sure he will, you two." Makie began as the daredevil's snowmobile slipped on the water and knocked him off. "And look, he did!"

"Was there ever any doubt?" Yue asked. "How about using that snowmobile on, I don't know. SNOW?"

"Well, snow is frozen water, Yue." Asuna responded. "But I don't think whoever invented snowmobiles had people this dumb in mind."

_"A bunch of people dressed in various costumes are lining up on a track. Are these mascots? Nope. They're the racers."_

"What in the world?" Makie shouted. "I…I have no words for this one."

"What is this supposed to prove?" Kaede asked.

"Um…that people are really bored?" Ku Fei asked.

"Come on! Stop the stupid race!" Fuka began. "You're embarrassing yourselves!"

"Yeah! Go back to whatever school you belong!" Fumkia finished.

"And look at some of those idiots! One of them even got the head of his costume knocked off and they just run on by!" Asuna shouted.

"I think this is one of the only times when the winner is still a loser." Yue groaned. "This is just a total waste of time!"

_"Our next clip takes us to Russia, where a group of men decide to use kayaks to base jump off a cliff."_

What in the world?" Asuna asked. "Are these morons trying to kill themselves?"

"Apparently." Yue began. "Up until now, I didn't realize how stupid Russians can be."

"I hear you, Yue." Makie responded. "Did these guys actually think this would work? I'm really glad I live in Asia instead of Europe…providing Asia is idiot proof."

"I can't believe they actually thought this would work!" Fuka began. "These guys are as dumb as a six year old!"

"No. Even a six year old would know that wouldn't work." Fumika countered. "And look at the guy in the kayak as he falls into the water and the rocks around it!"

"Kayak made for water, not for jumping off cliff!" Ku Fei shouted.

"I know!" Kaede began. "I can barely control any type of boat, kayaks especially, in water! What made these guys think they could base jump with one?"

"It's official. Russians come up with the dumbest stuff imaginable!"* Asuna concluded as the next clip flashed onto the screen.

_"At number five, we have a man who decides to go skiing…on a street."_

"I…am absolutely speechless." Yue said as she saw the clip.

"Can that guy not wait for it to snow?" Kaede asked.

"He must." Asuna began. "He is a complete moron for skiing while attached to a moving car!"

"That guy could go to ocean." Ku Fei answered.

"Yeah, but that would be too logical." Fumika began. "I don't think this guy has any logic."

"Or common sense." Fuka responded. "But then again, what fun would it be if any of these daredevils had any?"

"That would take the fun out of it!" Fumika whined. "They provide some quality entertainment."

_"Our next clip take us to a bunch of guys ready for the Forth of July by celebrating with homemade fireworks."_

"Homemade fireworks?" Yue asked. "This can't end well. I know what people can do with commercial fireworks!"

_ "Their plan? To place the fireworks in a paper towel roll set on top of dry grass, and set them off."_

"Okay, what is not wrong with this picture?" Asuna asked.

"Let's see." Fuka began. "I can't seem to think of anything right with this!"

"Yeah. Fireworks surrounded with paper is a recipe for disaster!" Fumika concluded.

"Not to mention dry grass." Ku Fei began. "Very flammable."

"And look at the fire that started when they set the fireworks off!" Kaede laughed.

"Yes! Look at those guys!" Asuna laughed. "They're trying to put out the fire with their jackets!"

"Yeah, but some of them don't seem to be willing to sacrifice their jackets in order to put out the flames. I can't believe we haven't seen any idiots playing with fire until now!" Yue complained. "It would've been funny to watch some of them get burned!"

_"The next clip takes us to a group of men on a beach who seem pretty bored. They decide to back flip off a cliff."_

"Back flipping off a cliff?" Asuna shouted. "How bored are these guys?"

"Very." Makie began. "Anything regarding a cliff, especially above water, usually leads to trouble."

"Look at the first guy! He jumps successfully!" Fuka began. "So did the second guy! They still look like idiots, though."

"But the third guy isn't as lucky. He hits the cliff and falls into the water." Fumika finished.

"What is this supposed to prove?" Yue asked. "That a bunch of guys can look good as they jump off a cliff? They don't."

"I know, but I think these guys are missing a few brain cells." Kaede answered.

"A few? They need to have brain first." Ku Fei answered. "People with brains don't do this."

_"At number two, we have a man trying to perform a dangerous stunt while on a motorcycle. Performing a front wheel wheelie."_

"What in the world?" Makie shouted. "This is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard of!"

"Yeah." Fuka began. "A regular wheelie is bad enough!"

"But a front wheel wheelie while driving down a street? This is never going to work!" Fumika finished.

"I only know a little bit about motorcycles, but I know enough to know that this will not work. The back tire is where most of the balance on the thing is." Kaede responded. "And look at him as he falls off the bike!"

"Unfortunately, he survived with a couple of head injuries. Yue sighed. "Just what the world needs. Proof that you can do something this stupid and survive!"

"World doesn't need idiots!" Ku Fei shouted.

"I know." Asuna began. "I knew from the beginning that this wasn't going to work! Tilting a motorcycle forward will cause everything to go forward, rider included! After seeing all of these, I'm really afraid to see who's at number one!"

"Yeah." Yue began. "Last time, we got that guy who told the employees at that store to call him so he could rob them!"

"Someone actually did that?" Fumika asked. "We really missed a lot the other night, didn't we?"

"Yeah, but I wouldn't worry about it." Asuna began. "We're bound to see more idiotic criminals in the future."

_"The dumb daredevil who earned the number one spot is a man pursuing the idiotic sport known as ghost driving."_

"Oh my god!" Asuna shouted. "This guy is actually trying to drive a car while he is on the hood?"

"This has got to be the dumbest man in the world!" Fuka shouted.

"I know!" Fumika responded. "This is a really dumb idea! And look at him as his car crashes into that fire hydrant and power pole!" both twins laughed at that.

"Here's a question." Kaede began. "What is the point of this, or any of these stupid stunts?"

"Um…to prove that they can?" Ku Fei asked.

"Which they can't." Makie responded. "This guy doesn't even look cool while doing this! If you don't look cool, and nobody like it, don't do it!"

"Well spoken, Makie. This guy must've forgotten the number one rule of something like this! If you're outside the car, who driving?" Yue asked, rhetorically. "NOBODY!"

"Agreed. This guy is easily the dumbest daredevil I've ever seen!" Asuna shouted as she turned the episode off. Now, let's see what the dumb drivers are like." She said as she selected the episode and sat back down.

**So, how did everyone like this chapter? The comments for the daredevils probably aren't as good as the ones for the criminals, but this is an entirely different area and they usually don't have as many details. Well, there weren't a lot that are worth remembering. I was originally going to include two sections in this chapter, but it is already long enough, not to mention it was a little challenging to type up the twenty daredevils here without causing significant damage to my IQ. That's not to say I won't include more later on, since I definitely will. The next chapter will focus on dumb drivers. After that, I will probably let you decide which category I should do next. Well, until next time.**

***(A/N: if any of you are Russian, I mean no offence to you, only the morons who are dragging your country down)**


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